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You know, of all the wrecks I've been involved in my life, they've all been while I was a passenger with my mom.

That's not to say I blame her, it's probably that most of them occurred when I was a kid and she was the one who drove me then.

But of all the close calls I've had since I've started driving, well, they were close calls.

Until today!

there isn't a happy ending, but there is a determined and a everyone-still-has-all-their-limbs-intact ending. Which is about as good as you wish when semis get involved.
rubah: (Default)
bought plane tix to LA for the 24th through 31st of july. Feelin' good, feeling good.

on day 2 of pool building. feeling good about that, too.

going to go to fayettechill tonight and hang. feeling really good about that!

today's a pretty good day, imo.
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The question, do we have souls

if yes, what are they. How are they, where are they, et.c.

If no, how do we develop personality? Nurture?

(is it determinism that states all this stuff goes back to electrochemical reactions in the brain? and if we knew it well enough and had big enough excel sheets we could predict and calculate reactions?)

I mean hell, we can't even figure out fluid mechanics. A little pipe is more complex than we can calculate precisely. All that stuff is done with experimental data lumped into terribly complex formulæ that are roughly more useful than not. It'll be a while before we can calculate thoughts. Although, hopefully, then I will be able to record my dreams. I've dreamt of doing that for years now.

But anyway, if we do not have souls, and have no overlying morality to accompany our actions, I see no reason why I shouldn't become some sort of bureaucrat or entrepreneur, taking advantage of anything and anyone.

Sure that'll turn a lot of people off, but there's plenty of others who can be bought with all the wealth I would accumulate.

Anyway, that seems at direct odds to my dream of teaching every kid in the states to love math and science.

I have a research prospect lined up in Atlanta for the summer. I'm super excited. I just have to figure out the logistics of 1) what do I do with my stuff in Fayetteville for three months? and 2) can I take Lola? she's looking at me as I type this, the poor darling. She's so adorable <3

It's completely ridiculous, but my hardest class has this assignment (broken up into pieces) to design a shaft for an old-model car engine (godddddddddddddddd I don't want to think about if it were modern and a V-6 instead of inline. FORCES GOING EVERY DIRECTION!!!! so many sines)

anyway, for tomorrow, we're supposed to (in groups) determine the forces and find the bearing reactions for the bearings holding the shaft the six cylinders are attached to up. The regular groups have two bearings. We have five.

A system of two linear equations is cool. We've been solving those for years. Even through 720° of crank rotation (it takes two circles to make one cycle) divided by 5° increments, that's okay, really.

However, just getting five sets of these damn equations to fit on one spreadsheet was a task of epic proportions. You have to use a different equation for each cylinder depending on what side of which bearing you're currently working with it lies, and you have to do that for all six cylinders and all five bearings. I think I got out to column AO or something.

That still just took half an hour. Once I had the equations in the cells, it was mostly copy, paste, fix whatever cells didn't change but should have or did change and shouldn't've, etc. That got me all the coefficients for the constant terms. The tricky part will be actually solving the system of equations, but hopefully someone else on my team will be able to do that in time tomorrow.

I just wanted to brag about my spatial skills.
rubah: (Default)
Anyways, you may want to read the last half of this entry.

My grandma died. It's so queer to realize that I have no more maternal grandparents. It's queer to think that my mother doesn't have a mother. They talked on the phone daily. Perhaps I should talk to my mom daily now.

From the Courier:
Mary Alice Jones, 85, of Pottsville, went to be with the Lord on Tuesday, Sept. 15, 2009, at her residence.
The daughter of Irvin and Coley McQuiston Peters, she was born June 26, 1924, in Monticello. She was a long time member of the Mars Hill Cumberland Presbyterian Church and the Eastern Star. She enjoyed traveling, reading, sewing and crocheting. She was preceded in death by her parents; husband, Billy Warren Jones; one great-grandson, Mason Lee Cowan; and one brother Robert I Peters.
Survivors include one daughter, Kathryn Byrum and husband, Jimmy; three sons, Robert Jones and wife, Nina, William Jones and wife, Martha, and George Jones and wife, Kathrine; 12 grandchildren; 13 great-grandchildren; and one daughter-in-law, Doris Jones.
Memorial service will be held at a later date. Cremation arrangements are under the direction of Humphrey Funeral Service. Memorials may be made to a charity of choice.
Internet obituary and on-line guest book available at
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I think I will be spending a lot of time texting this week. If you are willing to distract me from the gaping absense of stu and my home life, please comment. You don't really have to do much other than reply!

(there are some people who will get them regardless, but I'd like to cast my safety net plenty wide!)
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o_O has been hooking me up with some recommendations, and I dl'd summer dance mania 2008, but I need MOAR.


Jan. 1st, 2009 12:43 am
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Happy New Year!

I have a good feeling about this one :)
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☆ YAY ☆

from me and mom and dad and teasnot and reita (mussie was too good for us to consent to having his picture taken)


Nov. 5th, 2008 01:16 pm
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Michael Crichton died :(

I don't know about you guys, but the book Jurassic Park was a huge part of my childhood, spawning an interest in DNA and fractals both, not to mention abstract math (I loooooooooved ian malcolm), and I guess it's something I kinda inherited from my mom because she's been a fan of his for a long time too :(



Nov. 5th, 2008 12:21 am
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A good year for the damned liberal college students!

Huzzah Mr. 'Bama. wished you would've swung your little girls around on stage though!

It begins.

Jul. 15th, 2008 12:06 am
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The first 20mg to the rest of my life? Maybe. So many others on my friendslist have posted about their own usage of these pills that I feel I have learned a lot already.

I'm not sure what is going to happen here, but I'm hoping whatever does happen will give me the kick in the butt I need to be willing and eager to go out with people, not fall apart at the least hint of criticism, and all the other things that make me curl up into a useless ball of tears.

here's an mp3 to celebrate.


Jun. 28th, 2008 09:35 pm
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-10 lbs, thank you france.

(it just took five weeks of two meals a day, no snacks hardly ever, heavy walking and not enough meat)

made it home okay; was really rushed switching planes to little rock because of having to fetch suitcase go through customs regive suitcase and go back through security (how retarded). But I didn't get my coke bottle taken away! VICTORY. but I also lost the lid to it.

I ALSO left one of my mom's books on the coach to paris. omg. I was using it to hold stu's letter and the rose I picked in germany ;.; Not to mention I wanted to read it! And it was my MOM's. I'm going to call the CLA sunday night (if I can wake up early or stay up late) and see if they can't contact the coach company to see if someone found it ;o I doubt they'd just mail it over, but maybe we could work something out :(

Um, one of our guys lost something more important than a book though. well, he didn't lose it, but he left his passport in his drawer in his host family's house. :( I don't know what he ended up doing. He didn't have a phone, was really low on money, I hope you're okay jeff ;.;;;;; But yeah, that really really sucked for him :(

I slept quite a bit on the bus and the plane, so I'm mostly just tired now. um, I guess that's everything important that's happened. . .

I got a bunch of mail while I was gone; one scholarship to renew, a check to sign for, a bookmooch book (Support Your Local Wizard), several ARP magazines, junk mail, cc statement (I had dad open that one for me xD) and a free sample of clinical strength secret deoderant xD

i could've used that today! I put some Ban on before leaving the house, and before I got off the coach/bus it had worn off. Yuck.

But yeah, I'm pretty excited about the number the scale told me. something tells me it's going to be very easy to let it climb back up.

Oh yeah, mom said they didn't actually bury my grandpa's ashes today; they held off on that so me and my older cousin could be there. Ryan's in the marines so i dunno when that will be.

apparently my parents really really really really missed/worried about me. you'd think they'd write longer e-mails in that case;o they haven't been very inquisitive about everything seems like.

edit- oh yeah, and the house is as filthy as ever. I think I'll do some cleaning tomorrow.
rubah: (Default)
I have decided that the three character equivilent for "*facepalm*" is "-.-"

They're very much the same thing and I don't know why i didn't realize this sooner.

The last time I had to post something like this was six years ago. Then, I talked about how short Mason's life was. Well, William Warren Jones's was much longer and substantial. it still makes me sad. I love you, Grandpa Bill.
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It's going on the list.
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I just hope my mom doesn't always make the connection.

Sleep well, Mason (April 2 1999-February 6 2002).
rubah: (Default)


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Showed it to mom and dad this morning, and dad said he knew when it had happened; he and my middle nephew Austin were playing with balloons in the den, and austin had fallen on it, but the lid was down, and like I said it didn't look hurt at all, so he didn't think anything happened.

I think he feels slightly guilty that he was watching and in the area, so he's been very helpful with cleaning up the glass and trying to find new glass to replace it with. He even said he'd get some tomorrow since the only glass he's got was off an industrial copier and it was about twice as thick (15inx9.5in)

Thank you all for the understanding comments in the last post :)
rubah: (Default)
What is the appropriate way to mourn a mechanical device?

A few moments ago, I was thinking it would be cute to draw a christmas card on a couple of my characters, so I rambled from my warm bed to the cold night of the den to fetch my notebook, which was left in my scanner when I started working on a doll base a couple of days ago.

I lifted the notebook and found a disaster.

I'm sure many people would say its ridiculous to grieve or shed tears over something that's just a mesh of glass, plastic and electrons, but I am a child of the material and digital age. I am almost expected to bond with anything and everything I come across with, trees, books, computer parts.

And this HP scanjet was special. I earned half the money to buy it by doing physical labor all the way back in sixth grade; I chopped down a pen of cedar sprouts.

I remember going to staples and finding it, it cost about $130, about what the camera did that took this picture.

I brought it home; I'm pretty sure it was a sunday afternoon; I opened it up in the living room first and pulled out the huge foldout pictures-for-dummies instructions that HP loved that year (anyone get an hp pavilion in 2001? you remember what I mean)

Slowly I carried it to the den to plug into my computer (the ast adventure! 400. those hp pavilions wouldn't come out until xp did in october). It had a parallel and usb connection, which was important because windows 95 didn't support usb and we didn't have a port for it anyways.

The first time it ran it was so loud! GROWNGROWNGROWNGROWN and since it was parallel, it took forever to scan. But I scanned all the harry potter fan art I'd been drawing that year and knew what it was like to be able to color my own pictures. I had a scanner. Not many people did back then, and still many don't today.

When we got the hp pavilion, the AA!400 got moved to my bedroom, and the scanner went with it since the install software didn't work in XP, so I assumed I couldn't scan anything with that computer. The quality of those old scans then was so terrible xD Never do image adjustments in the hardware stage, kids.

When my brother showed me the love that was windows camera and fax wizard, the scanner resumed its rightful place in the den at the foot of the desktop desk. And it scanned and scanned and scanned. Little samples of handwriting, random objects, and even faces went next to that glass, and now its shattered. I guess it could only live as long as we had usb1 and xp (I never got to try it on vista. My macbook refused to talk to it)

I have my new scanner in my dorm at school. I didn't bring it with me because I had enough junk to lug back here and I figured I still had a good scanner that had several years left in it (does it still?) So no more scanning things until January 10th. (I took my sketchbook back with me out of the den, although it seems futile now).

I dont know what broke it. Common sense and instinct both point towards my nephews that were here thursday night and this afternoon both and are so rambunctious. Legality states it could've easily been my dog as well, but logic states that a dog, even jumping rowdy wouldn't have the weight of even the youngest nephew, plus it would've been half as much anyways, given the number of legs.

I guess I'm making this post mostly because I have this intense desire to TALK about my emotions, look for sympathy, anything, something. My parents are asleep and so is stu, and most anyone who would read this, but I can't wait the hours until morning to get this out.

Something that's also hard to deal with is the idea 'is it maybe still usable?' I noticed the irony pretty quickly that the green power light and the little lcd asking how many copies I wanted to print were still on. what a faithful beast. I don't think the moving mechanism or the lights are broken, but I'd have to clean the glass up first. There's tape on the corners of the glass. Did you know that?

Every so often as I would look inside, I would wonder about the quiet airless world where the light lived and I could never go. Now I can. I picked up the three large pieces that had fallen inside and set them on top of the rest, and tugged at the large piece in the corner that was still taped up, but I don't want to mess with the scene too much (first reason why I took a picture actually).

The cover isn't damaged at all. My sketchbook has some weird green dots(old crayon caked on, no doubt) and a small tear on the page and little slivers of glass.

It would be ridiculous to enfold the thing in my arms, and yet I feel guilty for shutting the door and turning the light out on it. That is no fit mausoleum.

I guess tomorrow will have a phone call to ask if any of my nephews stepped on something they want to tell their aunt allie about, delicate glass removals, and either a tearful goodbye or a lip-biting operation. I don't know. But thank you for reading this demieulogy.

O scanjet!


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