Alas , it is upon us.
My fourteen year-old brother gets so excited about christmas he makes himself sick. It's insane. I told him that this year he couldn't wake me up until after eight-forty-five. I need my sleep , you know.
Christmas also brings the never-ending stream of relatives. Don't get me wrong , I LOVE my family , and I'm very glad that everyone is happy and healthy and all that good stuff...but holy shit.
I cannot be related to these people! I simply CANNOT.
My grandmother on my mom's side , bless her heart , is a maniac. And a clean freak. Oh my god.
When she is here I feel like I can't even LIVE. Everything I put down she is rearranging and moving around and it gets to the point where she is practically suffocating me. She also tells me the same things like fourteen times (She'll say "Did I tell you that Jennifer is pregnant?" and then even if you say yes , she'll tell the whole story again).
My mom's dad is just....oh god.
He tells corny jokes CONSTANTLY. I mean CONSTANTLY. And when he's not doing that he's arguing about politics/controversial matters. I don't know really , my mom's parents are really great and stuff but I can't handle it for prolonged periods because they are always RIGHT THERE! IN YOUR FACE! And I love them and all but I'm sixteen and I need a little space and privacy of my own , y'know?
My grandfather likes computers and him and my dad are always messing with them and he wanted to come up and look at mine.
Thing is , he didn't ask if he could.
I don't have anything really scandalous or anything , but I leave my messanger on and the last thing I need is him talking to my friends or my friends talking to him thinking it's me. I also write a lot (fiction) and I love doing it but most of it is stuff I don't want people to read (ESPECIALLY parents/grandparents) just because there is swearing or sex or whatever and just generally stuff they won't approve of.
It stresses me out because ever since I was little I was always "the perfect child". Good grades , nice friends , sweet , kind , "All-American Girl" kind of thing. See , then I got a bit older and formed these magical things called OPINIONS. Them there things are DANGEROUS. And besides that , my friends are into a lot of stuff my parents and everybody else doesn't know about , and even if I don't do it , it's still a part of my life and they wouldn't approve even if they knew my friends did it.
I don't want to get killed/disowned/rejected/yelled at , etc , so I just kinda sit around and be quiet most of the time because my grandparents are like pressure machines.
"You should be a model!"
"Why don't you have a boyfriend?"
"You know, nobody will marry a girl who doesn't know how to [insert household duty here]"
I just keep my mouth shut because if I said what was in my head they would slaughter me. They are so old fashioned. They think I am the antichrist because I watched Queer Eye for the Straight Guy.
My dad's parents aren't so bad. They're a lot more open (and give us a lot more space). I still don't ramble on about my own thoughts in their conversations because they're much stricter with what they do believe in , and they're kinda mean.
I see a lot of myself in my dad's dad , which is weird because nobody else would say that. He doesn't say much either during family gatherings because I think he doesn't want to offend anyone.
I hate not saying anything and getting involved , but they are my family and I have to live with them for the rest of my life (or , well , the rest of theirs) and I'd really rather not get in a huge feud about my opinions because they're still all under the firm belief that I'm that goody-good sweet little girl I was when I was six.
So maybe that makes me a bit of a wuss , or a lot of one. But that's me. Someday I might just lose it and go psycho. I almost did when my grandfather was poking around on my computer.
It's practically a diary. That is MY stuff. My writing , my friends , my e-mails , and I mean , he just barges in and starts looking around for stuff.
My grandmother pokes around my room too. Looking in drawers for stuff. When I was fourteen I pretty much said "Look , you old crazy woman , stay out of my room and quit messing around with my stuff!!" I like my privacy. I like being able to write stuff or draw stuff or whatever and be able to have faith that people who aren't supposed to see it , don't see it!
But yeaaah...it was a good Christmas anyway!
I hope everyone else had a very happy holiday , whatever you may(or may not) be celebrating.
PS- LJ-Cut for the 2004 Survey.( Read more... )