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The books I've been reading lately, The Omnivore's Dilemma, The End of Over-eating, and The Story of Stuff, have got me thinking first about simplifying and improving my own life, but also wondering how much of what I'm learning can be extrapolated to American culture at large.



<Lady> The Omnivore's Dilemma, The Story of Stuff, and The End of Overeating all kind of converge onto a central thesis
<Lady> "stop being fukkin wasteful"
<Lady> they all come at it from different angles
<Lady> story of stuff is straight up 'man overconsumption is BAD'
<Lady> omnivore's dilemma is like 'umm, why do we spend so much money on making corn when we could be making better things for us'
<Lady> and end of overeating is like 'the industry deliberately caters to our evolutionary traits to make us buy more food than we could eat'
<TKF> what does it say about meat production
<Lady> that we feed animals to animals of the same specie and wonder why they rapidly contract diseases
<Lady> that we feed them food they aren't biologically equiped to digest and wonder why they can't process it well enough on their own
<Lady> that we keep them in incredibly confined quarters, bred for obscene qualities of meat
<Lady> and yet, we throw so much food away
<TKF> well, if you read about the island of wild chickens in hawaii, you learn that wild chickens are nasty as hell, like, stringy and gross
<Lady> he doesn't propose that all animals run free, but that when people actually perform animal husbandry, the results are good
<Lady> as opposed to animal warehousing
<TKF> yeah animal warehousing is gross
<Lady> anyway, I thought it was kind of neat the way they all kind of converged on the topic from different directions
<Lady> hell, thinking about it, the whole reason my company was founded was the idea of taking a hit in profitability to maintain sustainable long-term growth
<Lady> by not throwing people away just because we didn't need them after a project ended
<Lady> but rather, letting them build their skills while waiting for the next one to come along


If we make the goal to increase happiness and contentment, rather than increase profits, what would happen?

I begin to veer off into sappy socialist territory )
rubah: (Default)
So the scale was telling me an increasingly distressing story. I knew my snacking at work had gotten out of control. So I stopped.

It's.. rough, but easier than I anticipated.
rubah: (Default)
my stock purchases have not gone well 8)

I guess I didn't post here about it, but if you scroll down a couple of entries to the halloween one, just know that I sprained my ankle pretty badly on Halloween as a result of being a witch. I got health insurance in December, and by the time I saw a physical therapist at the first of this month, it was almost healed. She gave me some exercises and milestones to reach before starting to run.

I've been fantasizing about it for months. I'm dreading actually being able to do it, because I've gained about 15 pounds and lost any stamina I had. Back when I was playing ping-pong at the training center, and doing cardio twice a week. Got a lot of lost distance to recover. Ayyyy


my company has run off another good employee, one who I found very inspiring and stimulating. As much of a huge improvement it's been for me, it's still easy to see how relatively poorly compensated we are. But everyone thinks that about their work. We'll see how I feel after a year. I heard someone answer the question "How long did you work at X?" a while ago, and they gasped with awe at the answer "about 2 years". So long, right?


My parents are talking about moving out here. Not to LA, but north of the valley. The houses they have looked at make my mind spin in circles. They're both disabled/retired, how could they possibly work out something? I guess they expect me and my family will take over the mortgage... It could work, but I freeze up thinking of abandoning the house on the mountain back in Arkansas. When we moved there in '91, I hated it. I wanted to move back to the trailer next door we had come out of (a family of five in a double-wide). A few years later, one of my parents asked me if I still wanted to move, and I was aghast. I loved the house and the yard and the pasture and the woods and the bluff.

We'll see, I guess!

new year

Jan. 1st, 2014 08:58 pm
rubah: (Default)
something I have joked about in the last couple of months after being promoted to working onsite with my development team is the idea of leading a Scrum lifestyle.

and idk, I don't really care for new years resolutions, there's a lot of things I'd like to work on. Resolutions are often posed in "stop xxx", which is a lot harder to commit to than "do xxx", I think. Your conscious has to be constantly listening for you to be on the threshold of doing whatever verboten activity, but to do something, you can just set reminders for yourself, as long as you commit to follow through.

so maybe I'll just try the agile approach. I'll have a sprint planning party with myself (you're all invited), have a sprint, then check up afterwards. Might as well do something with livejournal, you know?

on music

Sep. 5th, 2013 08:06 pm
rubah: (Default)
When I was younger, I had a very intimate relationship with my mp3 collection. (You can probably read more about it in this journal. )

stuck on dialup, you can't download music faster than you can listen, so when you are waiting the 15-20 minutes to download a 3mb mp3, you can listen to that 3 minute song 5 times.

We got dsl in 2005, so from 2001-2005, I listened to each song a lot

after getting dsl, suddenly listening to a song was about the same time as downloading a song. my music collection exploded, but I stopped being able to narrowly pin down exactly [I]what month[/I] I could define by listening to any particular group of songs.

Sometime between the last years of high school and starting college, I stopped listening to music every waking moment at home. This also distanced me from the tracks I did listen to.


Today, I listened to one of those songs from the early period, one of those which besides repeating it until the next mp3 hit came, I would play on repeat all weekend just [I]because[/I].

and it was like being punched in the heart. I searched iTunes for the songs rated five stars, and just looking over the names, I felt so emotional. I turned on shuffle and have just been listening to them while writing this post with this stupid bittersweet grimace of nostalgia.

Remembering the times of my life when I listened to these songs, the individual perfect moments to which they have served as soundtracks, the friends who sacrificed the bandwidth to gift them to me, the old familiar feelings they first evoked when listening to them on repeat.
rubah: (Default)
My 2011 Resolutions:

Budget Money
Graduate
Get a job
Move
Get Fit


I fucked up budgeting money, but luckily I Graduated, Got a Job, and Moved, so it was less of a problem than it would've been otherwise.

Get Fit is kinda up for grabs. I gained a lot of weight over the summer, but then lost ~10-15 after moving to CA.

On the whole, 2011 was a very good year. My emotions were relatively stable, despite some major stress related to getting hired. I had the best last semester I could've hoped for, spending lots of good times with my friends and classmates.

Year summary and wrap up )

For 2012, I resolve to get Lola cat back in my life for good, keep up the good work on weight loss and fitness, and be brave when my work contract is up in April. Maybe I'll get an engineering position then, or another position at Konami? There's all sorts of potential!

Happy new year, everyone!

on moving

Sep. 27th, 2011 04:32 pm
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I was looking through my old photos for pictures of young Mussie/Fatdog and was struck by how many different places I've lived and the possessions that were important enough to me that I had to take them to each new place.

two dorm rooms, an apartment with stu, my own apartment, another dorm, and now out here in CA.

going into college as a freshman, I never dreamt that the little desk supply drawer would grow to be such an indispensable piece. Thinking about it now, those three teal drawers kinda function like a rich person's personal assistant, giving me what I need nearly as quickly as I think about it (except stamps. I keep forgetting to buy stamps)

there are a couple of big heavy plastic plates that I've toted around to all of these places. I think we got them in the late 90s. I used them every day as a kid and a teen, and most days today.

Brian Carper/Dr Unne gifted me some origami sometime, and since it's lightweight and almost guaranteed not to break in transit, the whole set comes along (A dragon, a rose, a frog, a carp, a lizard)

After I repainted them, I couldn't bear to let my wizard dude and forest maiden stay away from me. I spent so many hours just looking at them and painting them in elementary school. Not really fantasizing or making up stories, but they basically serve as mystical/fantasy archetypes and have for a long time.

I took some of my art nouveau posters to Atlanta last summer, and have them up now. I bring the little PuPu and Moogle, and a music box that plays Moonlight Sonata.
rubah: (Default)
I found this worksheet I'd done for 9th or 10th grade English, "Family Interviews"

I interviewed my parents, my maternal grandparents, and my friend

anyway, it paints an interesting picture for these five people at that state of their life. My grandparents have since passed away, my parents have made the transition into being retirees, and my friend is due to give birth any time now.

Family Member's Name Four words that describe this person Three things this person loves Two things this person needs One thing this person fears One thing this person wishes
Kathy

  1. stuborn

  2. sensitive

  3. faithful

  4. curious

  1. God

  2. Family

  3. Friends

  1. Love

  2. Stability

  1. The dark within

  1. Happiness
Jimmy

  1. Honest

  2. Friendly

  3. Optimistic

  4. Industrus

  1. Family

  2. Food

  3. Pets

  1. Food

  2. Shelter

  1. Nothing

  1. Happy Life
Mary

  1. Dreamer

  2. Contrary

  3. Honest

  4. Loner

  1. Family

  2. Reading

  3. Traveling

  1. Peace

  2. Happiness

  1. Heights

  1. To see my whole family happy
Bill

  1. stooped

  2. Bald

  3. Crippled

  4. Lazy

  1. water

  2. Boiled eggs

  3. Good Tooth Brushes

  1. Longer Sofa

  2. A Hearing Aid

  1. Toronado Lightning

  1. That all little kids be feed & cared for
Amy

  1. hyper

  2. talkative

  3. funny

  4. has cool shoes

  1. family

  2. friends

  3. converse shoes

  1. converse shoes

  2. dudes

  1. Nike buying Converse

  1. to be an awesome bass player



My mother wrote hers in backwards slanting print, a trait she picked up in school when a teacher told her she had the ugliest writing of any girl

My father wrote his in engineering all-caps

My grandmother wrote hers in neat cursive

My grandfather wrote the first six of his in a heavy simple cursive, and the rest in heavy all caps, with wide spacing

My friend didn't write hers personally because it was the night before and I was using MSN messenger to interview her, so I just wrote it like I would imagine she would.


I wonder why I was so blind.

'rents

May. 14th, 2011 12:04 am
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I'm graduating tomorrow, which is great and terrifying in many ways I don't want to tell, but more relevant to my emotions at hand is the fact that both of my parents and their ratdog are staying in my apartment with me.

Understand that I love my parents and will be moving back in with them for what I hope will be a short period.

But I have lived on my own for four years now, and in this apartment for a year and a half. They're in that parental state where they expect everything to be as they would have it in my house, OR they assume that there is not a procedure for a given task.

Obviously, this is not the case. Cans go in the little blue basket for storage until there is enough to think about recycling; food and some paper waste goes into the bucket until there is enough to think about composting; etc; etc; etc.

And when I tell them this is not how things go down in my house, my dad gets temporarily confused, and my mom gets temporarily hurt, like I'm blaming her.

If this is how things go down in my apartment where I have some modicum of authority, this coming stay may be less pleasant than I envisioned.

obligé

Mar. 25th, 2011 09:41 pm
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Am I moving in two months or five? I have no idea. My landlord never returned my call, so I might not have a choice anyway (2). That won't really be a problem, but it'd be nice to know.

But I can't know anyway; I'm supposed to hear back by the 7th if I am in the running for what seems to be an awesome job, in everything except possibly location. But I'm all for it.

I've felt this way for months, but there are an inordinate number of ways that the next few months could work out, each with its own unique set of advantages and disadvantages. I just don't have enough information to make any firm decisions.

In fact, I had already made one, and then got an e-mail asking if a lady could interview me over the phone for a position I hadn't even heard of. So now, I'm back to indecision.

In the meantime, I am definitely not trying to make things as easy as they could be,

but I still have my sense of nonurgency. Even if I fuck up, it'll still be okay.

brooding

Jan. 18th, 2011 02:52 pm
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Classes started today, but I'm still hella bored. I was doing errands, and kept running into things reminding me how this is my last semester.

I went to the student union, and they were having the poster sale, and I just thought about how exciting that was, and thought about browsing some myself, but no, I need to save money.
At the registrar's office, I was asking which window to go to, and a dude directed me to one for graduation verification. Close, but not yet.
At the bookstore, I thought about picking up some notebooks to use in future semesters... but realized there won't be any.

Still don't have a job lined up, but I keep telling myself I'm going to move west when I graduate regardless. I will work wherever I can.

What will I do if I'm never hired by an engineering firm, though? That's supposed to be a degree with a future. Isn't that why I've stuck it out, pulling long hours?

I don't feel like I've wasted my last four years, but I don't feel like I have very much to offer even now.

But, then again, I've paid nothing but four years of my life. So if that ends up being what happens, just gotta roll with it, you know? :)

My schedule so far is pretty great. 14 hours of classes, only one on tuesday/thursday. Plenty of time to spend on researching.
rubah: (Default)
I'm pretty bad at being a hipster. They dress how I'd like to, but I don't have enough style to do it. Also I'm not heroin chic enough to fit in the appropriate outfits.

I told my darling I wanted to go out to the coffeehouse a few blocks away, and once there, the girl at the counter asks what I want, and I tell him to go first. He says the exact thing I was thinking of, and I've learned by now that if I try to order something else so that we have more options and tastes to try, I will always make a bad choice and regret it, so without hesitating, I say "make that two", and we both opt for the whipped cream.

There are two girls sitting at the table adjacent to us; their cups are empty, only ice and straws. One of them is sitting up straight, reddish shirt, reddish hair, as though she were mentoring the brunette, who has her back to me, and kinda slumps, plays with her phone on the table. They're talking of typical college girl things; people they know, clothing boutiques, other serious things.

There are other people, but they're sitting too far away and I can't hear them over the sounds of our shared delights as we spoon smore "arsagaccinos", milk, chocolate, cream, toasted marshmallow. There is an elderly man sitting at the high bar, looking over a newspaper with a highlighter in hand, with some form of electronic media taking away his concentration momentarily. He must be doing some game in the newspaper, or looking for jobs. The New York Times is on sale, $2 today, $6 on Sunday. Would they chide me if I flipped through it without handing over any bills?

Why bother when there are original seasonal and greeting cards on a rack to spin through, a calendar of charitable journalism to feel uncomfortable with, or a drawer of games. Is this why hipsters are always talking about Scrabble? I thought it was because they are well-read and necessarily must brag about their vocabularies, but maybe it's just because they spend so much time in coffeehouses, where they might strike up a game with a random stranger, or group of friends after the gossip flow has ebbed.

The barristas are adorable, with their colored cords, and pixie haircuts. Sometimes I think of my darling as a pixie, although he isn't feminine in the slightest, and once, when I was feeling particularly heart-broken and lonely, there was a pixie girl on campus, that from a distance, I could nearly mistake for him. What would she have thought if I ran up to her and gave her a hug and a kiss? Just because someone is a hipster doesn't mean they're well-adjusted enough to be embraced by a stranger, or a girl.

The clientele that followed us are hipsters, too, or at least punk. Two girls come in, with hair cut to appropriate shortness, one with electric blue dyes. I think maybe they love each other; they have the certain closeness that I share with my darling.

The electric blue makes me think of the grocery store when I went a few days ago. In the spice and baking aisle, we passed a couple with electric blue and green hair, and punk clothing. I tried to give the kind of smile that says 'hey that's pretty cool' and not 'god you're so funny looking!' because that's really what I thought, but I'm not as talented with my expressions as my darling says one of his particular friends is. Looking at pictures of this guy, I would never have guessed that each expression was so exacting and predetermined, and I guess that's the sign of talent, making the unnatural seem natural. The only expression I can do is this wide ecstatic smile, which I practiced over webcam while skyping with my darling. When you smile so big that your face hurts, it stands to reason that your macular muscles would remember such positions.

He's tried to photograph me a lot since our time together is nearly up, but with my teeth being extracted, it's hard to open my mouth wide enough for the smiles that he wants to capture and take home with him, to get through the lonely months that guard against my graduation. But, I know how he feels, unconsciously afraid of keeping any memories solely in the care of the mind; digital memories never lie, and can be reread or re-regarded at any time, so long as one has an appropriate filing solution and can find the desired memory.

I don't store pictures of him in special "events" folders anymore. Being together is no longer an event; it's simply living.
rubah: (Default)
Hello, Livejournal!

My dovely has joined me for the break. We've started replenishing my stock of NES games, so that means playing some NES games.

We finished Dragon Warrior at level 20! Basically killed the final boss form with the last hit we could withstand ;)

We got Shatterhand, Super Mario Bros+Duckhunt, and Super C at one of the game "thrift" stores. With Shatterhand, he was playing, and made it to the final level, which obliterated him a couple of times, so he was out of lives and would have to continue, but there was no check-point in the level. He was frustrated, and I was frustrated with him for being hung up on something so simple, so I went to bed in a huff, and when he didn't show for a while, went back out as he'd lost his last life.
On the continue? screen, he turned the television off and apologized, putting the controller down, so we kissed and made up.

The next morning, we turned the television back on, to see that not only were we not on the continue screen, but were at the place he'd been the night before...

Fate rewarding those who take the time to learn and grow from their experiences?

SMB was hella difficult to get loaded. My replacement console is finicky, but eventually the selection screen came up, and we got through the first three worlds and the graphics... went to hell, basically. Then got worse.

But we got video footage of it!

Anyway, I ended my semester on a strong note, feel pretty good about my relationship, and have [most] my christmas presents boughten.
And my sister got married today! To a guy that my nephews seem to adore, so I'll trust their judgment for now ;)
rubah: (Default)
The last month has been... nearly intolerable. I was pushed to do something, I failed at it, but here I am regardless.

I have a small bundle of other failures, but I think after this week, I will push them away and move on to new endeavors.

The new semester starts Monday. I'm apprehensive, of course. Also, I am anxious. I think I will see someone about that on Tuesday.

The last week in Georgia was a feverish attempt to make any sense of what I had been working on all summer. Saturday will be a feverish attempt to make any sense of that. Then it will be done.

We went to Minneapolis for a end of program retreat. The Science Museum was fun, and Dave and Buster's, and Mall of America, although officially, I did not go there.

It was kinda hard to leave my roommate at the airport, but perhaps harder for her to leave my grad mentor-- they developed a special relationship over the summer that I enjoyed vicariously and defended when necessary.

I packed up two months' worth of living in about five hours on a Saturday morning, then hung out with my friend azzie. Played some Shadow of the Colossus, listened to vinyl, ate ice cream. The next morning, we joined some other internet people at Krispy Kreme. I liked it a lot better fresh (no duh)

Then I drove for a million hours, and listened to a guy read me a book. It helped a lot.

At my parents' house, they gave me the couch in their trailer, and crammed themselves together on the bed. I worked for a week on the house, such as I did. We're hoping to be able to move back into it by Thanksgiving. They don't relish the idea of staying the winter out in their little camper.

They finally got their insurance check today (the fire was in May), so a lot of cares have been lifted from their shoulders.

Since they got the check, I will probably get a new car soon. It represents my share of inheritance from my grandparents' deaths. I will get a Nissan Altima, probably a '10, when the '11s come out. It will be blue.

My car, which my roommate nicknamed Jacy (for my license plate number), was not finished giving me trouble for the summer. As you may recollect, I had to replace the fuel pump while in Atlanta. Also, my battery died, and it had to be replaced as well. While driving from Pottsville, not from Atlanta, by all luck, my fuel gage stopped working. At first, I was afraid I had leaked an entire tank of gas on the interstate. After twenty anxious minutes' driving to find a gas station in backwoods Arkansas (have you ever seen a tax office offering electronic filing out of a small building that could be a shed, and doesn't seem it should have even seen a computer? What about an old fashioned gas pump where you pump your gas and the clerk takes your word on how much you purchased?), I determined that I still had my gas, therefore it must be the gage malfunctioning.

Check gages

Check gages

Check gages.

I've started a trip odometer, and when it gets to 100 miles, I'll refuel. I reckon 3/4 of a tank will take me that far, even driving in town. If not, well, I'll be in town, huh?

I was supposed to determine something to research this summer for my honors college requirements. I was so caught up with the stuff I was doing at georgia tech (no, I dont think it will suffice), I didn't think to think about it until a few weeks ago.

I guess I'm going to meet with someone tomorrow. I hope it will go well. I need it to go well.

I hope I will be able to talk next Tuesday, instead of crying uncontrollably and locking up.

I am in my home, with my cat. Some of my dear friends have left this town, but perhaps it holds a few more kindred spirits.

la musique

Jul. 10th, 2010 03:29 am
rubah: (Default)
in a strange way, this song is ambassador from the best and worst times of my life. Both bring me to tears.


don't read this if you want to just linger with the romantic implications above )
rubah: (Default)
I was going to make some sort of clever entry about how mad my mom makes me when she just throws away stuff without asking if I still want it, but I'm too mad to do it. I think I'm going to retrieve her old 1982 Sears stereo from our fire!dumpster just to spite her (Also because I love it and you cannot find a combination 8-track/cassette/AM-FM/turntable stereo anymore. I've looked)
rubah: (Default)
The question, do we have souls

if yes, what are they. How are they, where are they, et.c.

If no, how do we develop personality? Nurture?

(is it determinism that states all this stuff goes back to electrochemical reactions in the brain? and if we knew it well enough and had big enough excel sheets we could predict and calculate reactions?)

I mean hell, we can't even figure out fluid mechanics. A little pipe is more complex than we can calculate precisely. All that stuff is done with experimental data lumped into terribly complex formulæ that are roughly more useful than not. It'll be a while before we can calculate thoughts. Although, hopefully, then I will be able to record my dreams. I've dreamt of doing that for years now.


But anyway, if we do not have souls, and have no overlying morality to accompany our actions, I see no reason why I shouldn't become some sort of bureaucrat or entrepreneur, taking advantage of anything and anyone.

Sure that'll turn a lot of people off, but there's plenty of others who can be bought with all the wealth I would accumulate.


Anyway, that seems at direct odds to my dream of teaching every kid in the states to love math and science.




I have a research prospect lined up in Atlanta for the summer. I'm super excited. I just have to figure out the logistics of 1) what do I do with my stuff in Fayetteville for three months? and 2) can I take Lola? she's looking at me as I type this, the poor darling. She's so adorable <3


It's completely ridiculous, but my hardest class has this assignment (broken up into pieces) to design a shaft for an old-model car engine (godddddddddddddddd I don't want to think about if it were modern and a V-6 instead of inline. FORCES GOING EVERY DIRECTION!!!! so many sines)

anyway, for tomorrow, we're supposed to (in groups) determine the forces and find the bearing reactions for the bearings holding the shaft the six cylinders are attached to up. The regular groups have two bearings. We have five.

A system of two linear equations is cool. We've been solving those for years. Even through 720° of crank rotation (it takes two circles to make one cycle) divided by 5° increments, that's okay, really.

However, just getting five sets of these damn equations to fit on one spreadsheet was a task of epic proportions. You have to use a different equation for each cylinder depending on what side of which bearing you're currently working with it lies, and you have to do that for all six cylinders and all five bearings. I think I got out to column AO or something.

That still just took half an hour. Once I had the equations in the cells, it was mostly copy, paste, fix whatever cells didn't change but should have or did change and shouldn't've, etc. That got me all the coefficients for the constant terms. The tricky part will be actually solving the system of equations, but hopefully someone else on my team will be able to do that in time tomorrow.

I just wanted to brag about my spatial skills.
rubah: (Default)
because god, it depresses me the fuck out!

So sitting in econ today, learning about why Keynesianism is not the way, and quietly calculating the bias of the newspapers we read for class and my professor, I had some ideas.

HURRAH, ARMCHAIR ECONOMICS

===) Is the Federal Reserve more of an independent agency, or are they a sock puppet the Congress and presidency can point to in times of high interest rates and say "Blame the Chair"? Perhaps it was just the way it was alluded to in class today, but the latter seems to be the case! or possible, at least.

===) economists have hearkened to the idea of mixing up different schools of thought, right? To avoid that "too much of a bad thing", and to use whichever tool makes the most sense at the time, then stepping back when it rights itself?

===) if temporary measures are less effective and instill less strong feelings in the constituents, let's have a short term tax increase. "it's only one year" on the back of bail outs etc shouldn't stymie the economy too much? (IANAE)

My ideal government/country would (and be able to) stop getting into land wars in Asia, use diplomacy instead, focus on infrastructure upgrades that will last X years, eliminate manual manufacturing jobs as the unskilled masses begin to retire, and switch to automated systems, but more of them (the private sector, not the govt xD), instill a healthier form of nationalism of the type of "hey, we're not so bad. Let's fix this economic mess" rather than "OH SHIT CHINA IRAQIS FARINERS@!!! WE HAVE TO HAVE BIGGER TRUCKS AND BIGGER BOMBS THAN THEY".

*drifts off, as in a dream*


national debt, unemployment, low interest rates, resistance to socialization. So so dismal. Dreary. I want to fix everything we learn about in class, but the whole thing is so huge.


(I was pretty pissed off at one of the articles we read today. It tried, pretty dishonestly, I believe, to compare the US's debt to the debt of one person. If you're going to go for scare stats, at least compare it to the debt of 300 million people. Our population, you know? We're all in this together. That's what the democratic part of representative democracy is for :|)
rubah: (Default)
is dirty old food.

There's just something about slimy smelly food touching my skin, even though my skin is largely waterproof and impermeable, that I just can't stand. I mean, there's a little bit of that with dirty clothes, but I don't spasm when a wet sock refuses to let go of my hand.

I've always been pretty finicky about things sticking to my hand. I don't like to put my hands in wet dirt, dishwater, etc. Just thinking about it makes me cringe.

You'd think as reluctant as I am to perform hand washing, I couldnt' possibly feel the same way about dead skin cells, but I do. I picked up a nervous tick in middle school where I would rub my hands to get the excess trash off.

Yes, I know it's much simpler to just wash, but it's a little "this is a waste of time and resources" and a little "anti-biotic soap is such a waste" and a little "DON"T WANNA MAMMA".

Anyway, as you can imagine, this has made it kinda difficult for me to do composting. I have a little bowl I put small vegetable mass in for a while so it will build up and I can dump it all at once. Hopefully it will also dry out a little in this time, to make it less disgusting. Then a few times a month, I go out on the back step with my old cat litter jug and carefully dump as much biomass as will easily go into the jug. Then, very gingerly, I pick up the pieces that didn't make it, trying to touch the least-squishy parts, all the while thinking 'ew, ew, ew, ew, ew' and holding my breath.

Stu and I had an arrangement: I'd wash the clothes and he'd run the dishwasher. Laundry's a bore, but goddamn it's not disgusting.
rubah: (Default)
* I realized after my first class that I had put my underwear on inside out. Strange.

* The two hour homework sessions have already started. God damn it.

* My ear throbs, but if I push on my jugular it stops.

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Allison

January 2017

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