this gets sorta gross ya'll

I dreamed I outsmarted and killed a bear this morning.

As all of you who have read HDM know, bears are very intelligent (and what is intelligence? Ask jebbus:P) so this took a lot of effort. I had to kill the sucker twice.

Sadly, he was not bear shaped, he was human shaped, but very very bulky built. But I know he was a bear, because he was a bear in my dream, and we called him a bear, and I think that if we had been by a stream, he would've caught fish with his bear (lolpun) hands.

The first time I killed him was with a pair of pliers.

I tried using a hammer to smash his skull, but it was too heavy and I couldn't swing it. So then I grabbed a large pair of pliars and start plying at his throat.

Bears are tough, and this sucker came back to life and brought his brother with him.

I had no argument with his brother, and I didn't really want to kill him, so I went to my mom to ask for advice (I killed the other one in our living room). And she told me about this powder called sarfic, or sarafic or something. Apparently it was used in windshield wipers, which was odd, as it reacted with water.

She bade me take a cup and fill it with water from the washing machine, and I did, and when the bear's brother (jeremy? jared? some j name. I'll pick jeremy) walked into her smoking room, I splashed his face with water and threw the sarfic at him. But apparently I missed, as it was a wimpy reaction and only distracted him for the first bear (I do not know his name. He will be the bear, and his brother will be jeremy) soon joined him.

I tried using the sarfic on the bear, but he had seen what happened to jeremy and dodged it easily. In turn, he took a bucket of washing detergent and POURED it all over my mother's head. I think I screamed for her to shut her eyes.

This made me sorta mad, and i ended up using more of the sarfic better on jeremy again, and he decided he would go ahead and leave, since his brother's pride wasn't worth it. The bear had walked back out of the smoking room, and I was on the washing machine sitting, when he came back in. But he didnt' see me, so I grabbed him by the throat, and started working my fingernail into the flesh, looking for his arteries or veins or windpipe or throat to rip out.

And I did rip out something, but it turned out to be the back of his tongue. He must've bit the inside of his lip, because he had blood in his mouth, like his throat *was* ripped out, but it wasn't enough and I knew he was faking. So I kept searching, and eventually I killed the sucker:O

Then, my friends came by my house and asked if I wanted to play softball. I said yes and met them down at my church's parking lot. I kept wasting time and they were getting irritated while I tried to decide what stuff I needed xD For some reason, I needed a pencil, and I couldn't figure if I anted to take my pencil sharpener (which is an absolute DREAM) or a knife, 'cause I had a pocket knife and a couple of x-acto knifes lying around.

I got my act together, and we started walking towards the school. Someone had to tear open this plasticlike boundary, they were using it as a fence, and it was backed with chickenwire, and inside the grounds, there was this great big area, like underneath the playground equipment at Old Post Park. except instead of ouchy pebbles, it had sand.

and I was tired from fighting bears all night long, so I napped.