(no subject)

I had a fantastic post written up about how awesome the plane ride last night was, but iJournal wasn't set to autosave, so I just left the program open and put my macbook to sleep overnight. Then just now I was trying to get back networking so i reboot it to reset the IP addresses and forgot about it and now it's gone :(

The basic gist of it was :

omg stars ->moon->thunderstorm->city lights->ponds with really bright moonlight reflecting off of them that I thought was coming from the plane at first but no moonlight really is that bright.

(no subject)

Apparently April is poetry posting month.

So post a poem.

somewhere i have never travelled, gladly beyond
any experience, your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too near

your slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully, mysteriously) her first rose

or if your wish be to close me, i and
my life will shut very beautifully, suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;

nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility: whose texture
compels me with the colour of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing

(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens; only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody, not even the rain, has such small hands

-- e. e. cummings

---

I mowed the yard for the first time today. It was like 85 outside, with bright sunshine, but to the south over Mt. Petit-Jean it was thunderstorming.

It was beautifulawesome.

K so I was the subject of some interesting drama at school today

Rather intense for not having stepped into the building in 11 days!

The situation:

I fully intended to miss Monday, not being in Arkansas until about 5pm. I planned on going Tuesday because we had State quiz bowl.

However, my first flight into detroit was delayed.
And delayed.

And cancelled.

Stu and his mother were with me, which was excellent because all I wanted to do was sit down and cry. Profusely. Also my cell phone was dead and the charger was stuck in a suitcase which I had already checked.

Also I had this funny feeling that I was going to start bleeding soon. (and as a bathroom break a few hours later showed, I was!)

So Vickie and stu and I stood in this line at the NWA counter, as a lady directed people who weren't supposed to be on that cancelled flight around us so they could be checked in, and slowly we were assigned alternative flights.

When I got to the front of the line, we were directed to one lady, who seemed grizzled and capable, but she was needed for something else, so we were relegated to a novice with chipped pink fingernail polish. However, since she had no clue on what she was doing, another veteran came by and pretty much did it for her.

Sadly there were no flights going from Indianapolis to Little Rock yesterday. The first one left at 8 this morning. Indianapolis is two hours from stu's house.

Then stu had the remarkably clever idea of trying the North West Arkansas Regional Airport; the 'Fayetteville' airport. An hour longer drive and my parents hadn't ever been there before.

But hey, there was a flight that connected in Minneapolis/St. Paul that got to NWARA at midnight. Home by 2:30.

During the several long hours of sitting in Indy, while stu and I amused ourselves ate pocky and played with my macbook, I had completely forgotten all about Quiz Bowl the next morning.

As the night got later and I got closer to home, I comforted myself more and more often with how I could just sleep in and stay home that day and relax.

When I got to NWARA and found my mom and was relaxing in the bathroom, with a much needed toiletry item from my suitcase, I breathed that idea to her, and was answered with this jarring answer:

"Oh you can't, you got Quiz Bowl in the morning".

Oh you're kidding. No you aren't. I remember now.

:LIDSF (S*&DGHB(DSGUSFDL$#T)(&#@%)*SGTDL)($WG

Apparently Mrs. Jones, our quiz bowl sponsor, had called mom that afternoon to remind her since I hadn't been at school that day, and mom had told her of the ridiculous happenings, and she told her "Well, just get some sleep"

I cried. Not quite as much as I cried when I thought about how I was going away from stu (the 26th!), but my mom told me not to cry (I can't remember if she was snappish like she is when she gets irritated with me when she's tired) that we'd just tell mrs. jones too bad

I laid in the backseat of the Blazer and thought and prayed.

I figured this "k, I can say screw it and not go to school at all and feel guilty. or I can get up at 7 on four hours of sleep and go and be pretty miserable, a lot like state quiz bowl back in ninth grade! (That's kinda ironic. This year is supposed to be ninth grade all over again. I just realized that). Maybe I will not go, but still go half a day at school to make up for the half I skipped last thursday. Yeah that sounds good; then I can catch up on stuff I've missed and see my friends and can still sleep in. But man I'm not going to get any sleep right now if I let this stuff bother me, so I'm just going to forget about it on the drive home since it's futile to think about it"

And I nestled down and slept the entire way from fayetteville to home. I dreamed about something I think. I toitered into the house, brushed my teeth (stu is a terrible influence, I didn't brush my teeth for several days in a row! he didn't badger me about it like he did last time and now i"ll get cavities. STU IT"S ALL YOUR FAULT. MAKE ME BRUSH MY TEETH WHEN YOU DO) pulled two heavy comforters off my bed (it was way too hot, especially compared to those cold Ohio nights, bunkbuddy or no bunkbuddy) and fell asleep again and dreamed some more.

Dad woke me up with the closet light (I hate that) and I thought 'oh lord no he woke me up at 7' but no, it was 10 and he was asking if I was going to go to school today. I told him yes, at noon, and he left and I decided to get up anyways because it'd probably take me a couple of hours to get around.
It was kinda reminescent of not going until noon the monday after Prom last year.

I did some dumb computer stuff and got mad because windows tried to make me use a login screen but there was no account present to choose because that's how I roll

Anyways, I went to school, signed myself in, tried to give my sob story, and was told to come back later because the secretary who handles such things was on lunch duty. So I went to the commons, wondered vaguely where my friends were, and ran into hannah. I got several "you're back?!"s, which at first I attributed to my having missed two days and two half days of school in addition to spring break, but was instead instigated because of quiz bowl.

Apparently mrs. Jones had called mr. cato's (1st hour) class looking for me, and he said I was not there, and they told him to send me to the office. Then he went to the office to clarify and they did an all-call. Looking for me.

I guess it's kinda neat to obviously be regarded as the supreme necessary member of the team, but kinda sad to be sought out so hard.

And kinda scary to think of how I probably let the whole system down, unless the boys did magnificently and then I can't share in their glory. I won't know until tomorrow. man I hate waiting, the anticipation makes me crack.

So yeah. I think this might be termed the year of disappointing people.

But I did get an invitation from Cambridge college to go to England for a summer program. Sadly $5600 not including airfare and extraneous meals is outside of my budget.

(the belks card I charged an insanely cute dress to because I had no cash and their cardin' machine was on the fritz is successfully paid off. I see now why credit cards are a big scare to people such as stu's mom. I'm not used to being scared ofthem because my parents use theirs successfully. I didn't believe my dad when he told me he'd never paid a cent of interest; it's impressive)