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rubahSometimes, I start to feel that I don't care about advances in the internet and computing because there's no one I care about who I can use them with.
What is the point of seeking out an IRC program that can handle passive DCC on weird networks if I have no one to dcc files to?
What does it matter if my IM program doesn't handle video if I don't video chat with anybody?
I think part of it is not actively seeking a romantic interest. Then that makes me wonder, why can't I have friends just for friends' sake?
(for friends reading this, let's internet hang out, irl hang out, whatever. Swap files, goof off.)
I feel so lonely a lot. The old dream of "I hope someone new moves to school this year! maybe we can be best friends" just never dies. Megan (#3 for anyone still keeping count) is the best I've had, but we live so far away now. What can you do?
I think I must be a terrible friend; distant, childish, never wants to do the same things for fun.
I've got this feeling that of all the people I've met at college, perhaps two would refrain from making up some plans, or feigning disinterest should I suggest some funtime activity-- a movie, etc. They would wonder to themselves 'wtf, who is this girl?' I imagine.
It's hard to think whether this is the old "no one ever likes my ideas, so I will hope someone else suggests it, because no one will agree if I am the one who proposes it", or just "they don't really consider me more than an acquaintence".
This is why I take a pink pill every night. The few ways I know to get to know people are otherwise inaccessible because I freeze up, unable to act, too afraid.
The contexts of my life are school and the internet. What else is there? Television? It's dumbtarded. Sports? With whom may I play?
You think that school and internet would be enough in such a large school, but it turns out they're not. Geekery can be hashed and rehashed, dissintegrated into a fine powder.
"Oh, you prefer Lost and X-Box Live over integrals? I guess we're not too similar after all. . ." No longer content to fake interest, there's plenty of other fish in the pond, aren't there?
Then where are they?
I write words to a generic audience, hoping that my new best friend is out there reading them.
What is the point of seeking out an IRC program that can handle passive DCC on weird networks if I have no one to dcc files to?
What does it matter if my IM program doesn't handle video if I don't video chat with anybody?
I think part of it is not actively seeking a romantic interest. Then that makes me wonder, why can't I have friends just for friends' sake?
(for friends reading this, let's internet hang out, irl hang out, whatever. Swap files, goof off.)
I feel so lonely a lot. The old dream of "I hope someone new moves to school this year! maybe we can be best friends" just never dies. Megan (#3 for anyone still keeping count) is the best I've had, but we live so far away now. What can you do?
I think I must be a terrible friend; distant, childish, never wants to do the same things for fun.
I've got this feeling that of all the people I've met at college, perhaps two would refrain from making up some plans, or feigning disinterest should I suggest some funtime activity-- a movie, etc. They would wonder to themselves 'wtf, who is this girl?' I imagine.
It's hard to think whether this is the old "no one ever likes my ideas, so I will hope someone else suggests it, because no one will agree if I am the one who proposes it", or just "they don't really consider me more than an acquaintence".
This is why I take a pink pill every night. The few ways I know to get to know people are otherwise inaccessible because I freeze up, unable to act, too afraid.
The contexts of my life are school and the internet. What else is there? Television? It's dumbtarded. Sports? With whom may I play?
You think that school and internet would be enough in such a large school, but it turns out they're not. Geekery can be hashed and rehashed, dissintegrated into a fine powder.
"Oh, you prefer Lost and X-Box Live over integrals? I guess we're not too similar after all. . ." No longer content to fake interest, there's plenty of other fish in the pond, aren't there?
Then where are they?
I write words to a generic audience, hoping that my new best friend is out there reading them.
