rubah | things keep happening, despite my best efforts

The last month has been... nearly intolerable. I was pushed to do something, I failed at it, but here I am regardless.

I have a small bundle of other failures, but I think after this week, I will push them away and move on to new endeavors.

The new semester starts Monday. I'm apprehensive, of course. Also, I am anxious. I think I will see someone about that on Tuesday.

The last week in Georgia was a feverish attempt to make any sense of what I had been working on all summer. Saturday will be a feverish attempt to make any sense of that. Then it will be done.

We went to Minneapolis for a end of program retreat. The Science Museum was fun, and Dave and Buster's, and Mall of America, although officially, I did not go there.

It was kinda hard to leave my roommate at the airport, but perhaps harder for her to leave my grad mentor-- they developed a special relationship over the summer that I enjoyed vicariously and defended when necessary.

I packed up two months' worth of living in about five hours on a Saturday morning, then hung out with my friend azzie. Played some Shadow of the Colossus, listened to vinyl, ate ice cream. The next morning, we joined some other internet people at Krispy Kreme. I liked it a lot better fresh (no duh)

Then I drove for a million hours, and listened to a guy read me a book. It helped a lot.

At my parents' house, they gave me the couch in their trailer, and crammed themselves together on the bed. I worked for a week on the house, such as I did. We're hoping to be able to move back into it by Thanksgiving. They don't relish the idea of staying the winter out in their little camper.

They finally got their insurance check today (the fire was in May), so a lot of cares have been lifted from their shoulders.

Since they got the check, I will probably get a new car soon. It represents my share of inheritance from my grandparents' deaths. I will get a Nissan Altima, probably a '10, when the '11s come out. It will be blue.

My car, which my roommate nicknamed Jacy (for my license plate number), was not finished giving me trouble for the summer. As you may recollect, I had to replace the fuel pump while in Atlanta. Also, my battery died, and it had to be replaced as well. While driving from Pottsville, not from Atlanta, by all luck, my fuel gage stopped working. At first, I was afraid I had leaked an entire tank of gas on the interstate. After twenty anxious minutes' driving to find a gas station in backwoods Arkansas (have you ever seen a tax office offering electronic filing out of a small building that could be a shed, and doesn't seem it should have even seen a computer? What about an old fashioned gas pump where you pump your gas and the clerk takes your word on how much you purchased?), I determined that I still had my gas, therefore it must be the gage malfunctioning.

Check gages

Check gages

Check gages.

I've started a trip odometer, and when it gets to 100 miles, I'll refuel. I reckon 3/4 of a tank will take me that far, even driving in town. If not, well, I'll be in town, huh?

I was supposed to determine something to research this summer for my honors college requirements. I was so caught up with the stuff I was doing at georgia tech (no, I dont think it will suffice), I didn't think to think about it until a few weeks ago.

I guess I'm going to meet with someone tomorrow. I hope it will go well. I need it to go well.

I hope I will be able to talk next Tuesday, instead of crying uncontrollably and locking up.

I am in my home, with my cat. Some of my dear friends have left this town, but perhaps it holds a few more kindred spirits.