Conflicting Interests

[rubah]

After I finished Abhorsen by Garth Nix, my mind has been running through a ceaseless cycle of trying to ferret out ideas that could contribute to being a such enjoyable book/story/etc, and my old self-arguments against the means of authorship keep rising up.

You have no experience in the world, you couldn't write without research
You hate research, you'd never do enough to make it believable
You don't have any original ideas, all you could do is rehash what you've read

and they are discouraging. But the impulse is there to CREATE ( I did draw a little page of fanart xD it's pretty awful. ) but what, or how, and also why?

I had the fanciful thought that by committing myself to engineering, I would pretty much give up my more fine artsy interests, after all, you can't possibly have the time to devote your strength to every single venue out there, but I've grown addicted to reading again. Accelerated Reader in highschool mandated that I read, but I wasn't addicted to it. The school library just didn't have the kind of scope I wanted, I guess. (it did have some crazy scope though in some ways). I mean, I didn't want to read that entire anthology of fairy tales I picked up (well id idn't, I skipepd some that seemed boring), but maybe the internet was just too boring today, because I definitely read it.

I wish I felt that way about reading my calculus book. I have some sort of inhibition about reading math books. I just can't do it. can anyone really, in truth? Also American Government. I tried to read the next two chapter I needed to for my quiz tuesday, but I can only handle so many dozen pages about the american two-party system and the american party system which actually does have more than two party systems, but both parties connive together to impede any other party from ever getting more than a stranglehold on whatever poor candidate of the major party happens to share some portion of their ideals. ahem ralph nader.

I guess you need all things in moderation, but I think I'll make a stop by the library tomorrow after french. I have an oral in there. Je viens de Russellville. J'habite dans un residence universitaire. Elles est tres petite. Il y a une chambre et un piece. J'ai un lit et deux chaises comme meubles. Je fais la cuisine dans un four de micro-ondes. Je fais la menage. Ma mere fait la vaisselle. Je fais mes courses a l'universite. Avant les courses, je viens de manger le diner. Dans la cuisine on y trouve un four, un frigo, un congelateur, et le lave-vaisselle. Dans la sejour, on y trouve un sofa, une table basse, un tapis, et des tableaux. J'y suis allee le week-end dernier. Je ne me suis pas couchee avant minuit samedi soir. Je me suis levee avant midi ce matin. Je ne me suis pas reveille avant huit heures aujourd-hui. J'ai demenage avant le debut du semestre. je n'ai pas range ma chambre hier parce que je l'ai rangee vendredi soir. lol.

I think I was supposed to read about centroids and lamina or centers of gravity for calculus, to learn how to use INTEGRATION to find them or whatever, but I start daydreaming of variations on the word lamina (lamna, lanma, lamma) and applications for it as a name. (the Tota Lions from chemistry come to mind)

I even picked out a dream I would like to develop into some sort of a story, but then I might start considering myself a writer, and I would feel weird about that. I haven't considered myself to be one of those since my fanfic days. Oh lordy.

Comments

[sepho.livejournal.com]

I read my calculus book on the principle of commitment to memory and deeper understanding by repetition, but I'm not at all an auditory learner and have a hard time paying attention during lectures so reading the text has always been the most effective way for me to learn, personally. It's really kind of a must.

It's different in courses where one can write notes that don't consist largely of formulas. I never opened the text book for a history class I took last year, and if I wasn't a pack rat, I would have sold it back a few weeks into the semester. History usually makes for interesting lectures and if I'm enjoying it I can absorb most of the test material just in the act of writing down the information in my notes without having to review them much later on. The downside is that by the same time next year a lot of that information has disappeared, so while I can digest a pretty sizable amount of data in short order if an upcoming exam calls for it, it tends to escape from memory in a depressingly short amount of time. If it's something I really want to keep with me, then I'll study it a bit more.

I think it's generally not good to rely on quotes and old maxims to establish or justify a position, but really you're probably right regarding your comment on moderation. I kind of overloaded my schedule with math courses this semester and while I like the break from writing papers, it's not as fun as I had imagined it would be. I guess it doesn’t help that tutoring almost 20 hours a week means I do math literally all day.

So, it's probably not at all odd that lately some of my more creative interests have been resurfacing. I've been writing occasionally with no responsibility to it in a private journal, and more surprisingly, I've been getting an urge to draw that disappeared almost a decade ago. I can barely remember what it was like to hang out in my room all day with a sketchpad, but I recall it being a blast.

Anyway, there was supposed to be some relevant advice mixed in with that all that nonsense, but it's already two and I have to finish this C++ project for this morning.

There would have been something about empathy and definitely about finding time for creative pursuits. Maybe think of those bits of time as rewards for trudging through some of the more mundane aspects of higher learning.

"I think I was supposed to read about centroids and lamina or centers of gravity for calculus, to learn how to use INTEGRATION to find them or whatever, but I start daydreaming of variations on the word lamina (lamna, lanma, lamma) and applications for it as a name. (the Tota Lions from chemistry come to mind)"

I was sitting through this lecture the other day and I was doing the same thing. I wrote down "Chevy Lamina" in my notes.

[jume.livejournal.com]

:)

[sepho.livejournal.com]

What does that mean ?

[jume.livejournal.com]

I'm happy you understand me!

[yuejiao.livejournal.com]

did you read sabriel and lirael too ? :3

[jume.livejournal.com]

yes dear, I've tried to read series in order after my lord of the rings fiasco ;)